Hello my friends. I've been going through a mid-life crisis since the age of 25 or so, so my latest crisis probably shouldn't be that surprising. In fact, if you think about it, maybe that's all life is; just one crisis after another that eventually adds up to a life. That's pretty deep.
Anyway, my latest crisis actually started a few years ago. In 2003 I had my insurance agency and Kim was working as a claim rep in the claim office in La Crosse, about an hour away from our home. Money was tight, but we were making ends meet. Unfortunately, the company was going through a consolidation and the La Crosse office was closed. Kim's job was moved to Milwaukee. Since we counted on Kim's job to pay our bills, we moved away from Viroqua to Milwaukee in September 2003 so she could keep her job. Three months later I was diagnosed with cancer (did you hear?).
Between having cancer and living three hours away from my office, I was away from the business for the better part of 2004 and 2005. During that time, my income decreased about $25,000 annually. Since we were just barely making it before I got sick, the decrease in income really hurt.
When I was healthy enough to get back to the office, I started commuting, spending 2-3 days each week in the office and the rest of the time I ran the business from home. Honestly, that wasn't enough time to be in the office, but I didn't want to be away from Kim and the kids any more than that. My income was still down and now I was spending about $1000 per month (gas, food, lodging) to commute. It was obvious something had to change.
In the end, we decided that Kim would give up her job and we'd move back to Viroqua to try to jump start the agency. We moved back last summer and the agency has turned around some. Our sales are up and my income is almost back to where it was before I got sick. Of course, we gave up Kim's income which was significantly more than we've gained in the agency. Kim needs to find a job making the kind of money she was making before, but there are none of those kinds of jobs in our little, rural town. Even over in La Crosse she hasn't been able to find anything that would come close.
I've spoken to State Farm about getting back on with the company, but so far I've been told 1) I'll probably need to take a step back from the position I had previously in order to get back in, and 2) I'm over qualified to do the job that would be a level below what I did previously. That's frustrating. There's still a chance I may be able to get back on with the company, but at the momement it's not looking too promising.
I'm not sure what we're going to do. We've pretty much depleted our savings and are getting by right now with smoke and mirors. This can't go on much longer.
There's part of me that feels like I should be practical and just go find a job with another insurance company. I'd have to start my career over again (at age 47), but at least I'd have a paycheck. Then there's part of me that thinks, this is no time to run back to the comfort of a corporate job. I need to break away from insurance (which I've never really cared for) and do something that is important to me, like starting a hotdog stand.
Anyway, I'm open to any suggestions you might have. Be warned, I probably won't take your advice, but I'll appreciate it just the same.
Thanks!
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So if you were to go back to "corporate" would you not be able to sell your agnecy and raise some cash that way?? How do they classify the ownership of the agency and I assume the assets that are tied to it??
Excellent question my young friend. At State Farm, we do not technically own our book of business. We get paid to service it, but the company owns the book. That means all I really own is some furniture and office supplies. Corporate would not pay me much if I were to leave.
It's hard to know exactly how much the company would pay me if I left. There would be some commissions due and they would likely buy the furniture so they could continue to run the agency, but my guess is that the total I would receive would be less than $10,000.
I'm not sure what to write, my man. I did look at careeer builder.com for the triangle, NC area under insurance. It looked like there was a whole mess of fight by night sorts of things, but also some potential for someone who wanted to start anew. It sounds like you would be starting anew almost no matter what with this State Farm thing. I don't know, it don't sound so bad to me to start anew. Anyway we can help, we'll be glad to.
Thanks Ken. I'm not sure if there is a perfect solution. In fact, I know there isn't.
Right now what I'm struggling with is the practical side of me that says, "Just get a job so you can pay the bills," and the philosophical side that asks the question, "What do you want your life to stand for?"
Even though I spent 14 years working for a large corporation before starting the agency, I've always been opposed to it.
Like most people, I like the idea of having a paycheck every couple of weeks and the benefits that come along with the job are nice too. But I just feel a need to run my own show. There's always the hope that the money will be good running my own business, but there's more of a driving force involved than just the money alone.
It's a little hard to explain, but it has something to do with the need to test myself or prove myself. I want to see what I can accomplish. I want to build something that is my own and that I can pass on to my family (btw, the agency is NOT such a thing). I want my life to be more than 30-40 years of employment with a pension at the end (although there are days I think that would sure be nice).
I'm pissed at myself for even thinking about running back to the comforts of a corporate job as soon as things get tough. Of course, I also understand that there are practical considerations involved. While I pontificate about the virtues of self-employment and making a statement with my life, the kids still need to eat and the bills keep coming due. I wonder if this is what it's like to be a tortured artist.
Anyway, I'm no closer today to figuring out what I'm going to do than I was yesterday (or the day before). I'll just keep contemplating about this and sooner or later something will come along. Maybe a job, maybe bankruptcy...
Thanks for the input.
So, are you massively in debt? You said something about about smoke and mirrors. Are you thinking about a complete career change, or a move? Have you discussed this with Kim? I don't think passing along something to the family always means money. Do you you feel like you're passing on important ideas, values-I'm sorry I was on a roll here and then the wife unit logged me off MY computer, without asking-and I lost my train of thought. Anyway, do you? I have worked with indigent people in most of my jobs. There are many times when I say-what the hell am I doing? I could make lots more money. Maybe I could be more, I don't know, famous....influential.....I don't what the word is. I have taken good medical care of these folks, but I think even more importantly is that they see someone----anyone---- who is outside of the life that they know. There are great things to aspire to-this is what we need to pass on to the kids. Remember, we have come from the white ghetto.
First, tell Egla to leave your computer alone (and tell her "Hi" for me).
Second, you're right about the money. I'd like to have a lot of it, but that's not what I'm working toward. In fact, that's one of the reasons I'm reluctant to rejoin the corporate world. If I do, I'll just be chasing the money and that's not a lesson I want to pass on to my kids.
I always have trouble explaining my motivation for wanting to own my own business, but let me try again.
There are two main reasons I want to work for myself. The first has to do with controlling my own destiny. It's not 100% control, but it's about as close as it gets. It's important to me that my success (or lack thereof) is a result of my efforts. Again, it's not a 100% proposition, but it's closer than working for someone else. I don't like the idea of asking others for opportunities or even to take time off. I want to take advantage of opportunities when it's in my best interest and I want to take off work whenever I want without having to ask someone else. (I just read over the previous paragraph and what I wrote is really not conveying what I'm trying to say)
Second, I want to build a legacy. As you suggested, it doesn't have to be a monetary legacy, although money does play a role. I want to create a legacy based on my values, one of which is self sufficiency. I want to teach my kids to be responsible for their own actions and their own financial security. Working for myself is one way of doing that.
A lot of my attitude in this area came from watching my Dad. After his business failed in 1964, he went to work for the City of Aurora and over time grew to hate his job. I remember watching him have to force himself to go to work during his last several years of employment because he hated his job and his boss so much. He retired in 1988 at the age of 62 even though he would have had a higher pension if he would have held out until he was 65. He just couldn't stand going to work any longer. I don't want things to end up like that for me.
Btw, I hope nothing I'm saying insults any one. I'm telling you how I feel, but that doesn't mean I think everyone should feel that way. We're all different and have different values and psychological needs. In fact, although I've grown used to the way I feel on this subject, I still think it is kind of weird.
Anyway, enough rambling from me. I need to go back to my single-minded pursuit of finding the answer to our problems. However, if tonight is like most nights, I'll soon grow weary of not coming up with any answers, so I'll just go to bed.
Good night...
It IS a SWEET computer-I think think everyone should have one-MacBook Pro. I think. from I am hearing, that you are conveying an important legacy. If you really want to start a new business, go for it. I have some neighbors, who might be interested. They asked me recently, do I have any ideas that people with venture capital, might be interested in. I live in Chapel HIll, you know, there are lots of people who are independently wealthy-as opposed to me.
Are your neighbors venture capitalists? My ideas (and I have a lot of them) are mostly for small businesses, probably not the kind of thing VC would be interested in.
Business types they are-I think with MBA's and day jobs, but also are trying to get out on their own, like you.
So I guess the obvious question is that if the agency has turned around why not keep working at it and try to continue to make it grow if you don't want to go back to working for the man?? Call me Deputy Downer but if you want to stay on your own I think that may be your only option. It sounds like you don't have the funds to start something new and as you said venture capital dudes don't usually go the small business route unless there is something new i.e. technology, etc. If you got a corporate gig for a few years it may give you some money to start something a few years down the road?? BTW, monolithic corporations like state farm arn't the only why to get a job, there are probaly a lot of small business people out there that are looking for people as well. For some odd reason the phrase I have been hearing a great deal lately is "it is what it is", my interpretation being "this is reality and it ain't going to change so deal with it". Maybe it is just my jaded middled aged way of looking at life but in a way it makes things simple. We all have our ideals of the way things could be but we have to deal with what is in front of us.
Hey Keith,
Maybe you can rig that contest that Ace Hardware is running to give a person their own Ace store.
Bodie -- Welcome to the blogosphere. Queebs, when I say the agency has turned around, I mean that I am back to making close to the income I was making before I got sick. But in order to do that, Kim had to give up her job, so we actually lost more than we gained.
We wouldn't have a problem at all if State Farm had an office within commuting distance where Kim could get a job. She's checked into other companies in the area and she'd end up making about $25,000 - $30,000 less than she was making before. When you factor that in with what it would cost me to replace Kim in the agency, it just doesn't make sense for her to take one of those jobs.
I'm not sure what is going to happen, but I should know more this next week. There are a few people checking into possible jobs for me that I should hear from this week.
Thanks for follow the drama.
Is Varoquoa (sp) in need of a male prostitute??? ( just thought I would lighten things up a bit :) )
So, do you want me to talk to these MBA types. One is my next door neighbor and I'm sure we could jaws this over a fine cigar and bourbon.
Queebs - Viroqua is not in need of another male prostitute. I applied for the job, but they are apparently look for someone who is attractive and good at sex. Oh well, there are probably less demanding townds out there looking for the town male prostitute.
Ken -- Just have them send me some money and I'll let them know how I do with it. Seriously, there's nothing to talk to them about. My dream is to own several small town businesses. Not the type of thing a VC would be interested in. Thanks though.
Hey Lou, don't throw in the towel on that male prostitute thing just yet... there might be a few ladies in Viroqua that are willing to spend a few buck for 30 seconds of fun....
30 seconds of fun? Are planning on showing up to take dirty seconds?
Ha Ha...30 seconds/dirty seconds. I didn't mean for it to be funny, yet it is. I crack me up.
If you count the time to undress, 30 seconds is easy to pull off. Sierra knows this all to well at our place.
I must be dense as a forest in Viroqua. When Lou said he was going to open a weenie stand that wasn't the type I thought he was talking about. I spent a week in Viroqua once when I was a field trainer for Montgomery Ward and as I remember there weren't to many corners in town. I lost a coin flip so I got Wisconsin and my training partner got Myrtle Beach.So Lou you have my sympathy. When I asked what people do for fun I was told they leave town, except for fish fry night. Thank god I got good channels on the TV at the hotel. Oh and Lou, I wouldn't charge by the inch (bodie joke).
Bode -- I had no idea you'd been to Viroqua. A lot has changed since then. Main Street got repaved and we have a third stop light. Also...oh, I guess that's about it. It's a really great place to live. It's just not a very easy place to make a living.
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