It was taco night last night at the Mindar Hacienda and the result was a night of wild dreams (and a bit of flatulence). One dream in particular stuck with me and I’d like to share it with you now (it sounds like I’m getting ready to sing).
NOTE: You may recall that I believe strongly that our dreams are influenced by what we eat. As a registered dreamologist, I prescribe bacon just before bed for those patients wishing to have a strange dream. Obviously, other fried foods, such as taco meat, can also get the job done.
Back to the dream...
We were all going fishing. As we piled into the boat (some sort of dory-type craft), the guide started telling us all about his fishing adventures in France. The guide was a rather pompous man and he was kind of talking down to us as he told his stories.
As it turned out, Ken knew all about the places the guide was talking about and would comment about everything the guide said. Ken's knowledge of all things French seemed to unnerve the guide a bit. While he was doing this, Ken was sitting in a relaxed, cross-legged manner in the front of the boat. He was wearing a vest and sport coat (the kind with patches on the elbows), and he was smoking a droopy, Sherlock Holmes-type pipe. Very distinguished.
As we shoved off (that’s nautical talk), the five of us were all on this small boat, but then the little boat turned into a much bigger boat and Queebs and Bodie disappeared. Ken, WFB, and I remained on the larger ship.
The sea was angry, my friends. Waves crashed over the side of the ship and it rocked violently. The fishing guide (who was now the captain of the ship) seemed unconcerned about the angry seas, but he was very concerned about making sure that everyone on the ship threw their garbage into the designated trash cans. He marched around the ship demanding that everyone throw their garbage into the trash cans that were provided. The cans were silver metal garbage cans and they had a black garbage bag liner in them. The metal lid was held down by a bungee cord. I don’t know why I remember that, but I do.
Ken was going around the ship picking up garbage and WFB followed along behind him knocking over garbage cans. Ken would fill the garbage cans, Bill would knock them over, and the fishing guide/captain would anxiously run around the ship picking up the cans and yelling at Bill. All the while, I was trying to find something to hold on to so I wouldn’t be swept overboard.
Suddenly, we were back at the dock and everyone from the ship was gathering around a picnic table. I sat down at the table, looked to my right, and there was the infamous Greg “Bird” Royal. I made a big deal out Bird being there, but Ken and Bill seemed unimpressed.
Instead of sitting at the picnic table, Bird and I were suddenly sitting on a parking standard when Bird announced that he wanted some ice cream. When he said that, I noticed that we were sitting in the parking lot of an ice cream store. As we were going in to the store, Ken was coming out. His face was covered with ice cream and chocolate, and he was chastising me for going in to get some ice cream. I grabbed some chocolate off of his face, but it was all melted and gooey.
Next thing I know, we’re back at the picnic table and Bird starts singing Total Eclipse of the Heart. He sang the song very well and really made it his own (I’ve been watching too much American Idol). Everyone joined in and I sang the “turn around, bright eyes” part in my lovely falsetto voice.
Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart
It was a touching way to end the dream. Like so many things in my life (including this story) the dream really didn’t go anywhere. Yet, I woke up feeling good that I had gotten to spend a little time with my friends. Of course, Queebs and Bodie snuck off to do God knows what, but it was still a good time.
So I guess the obvious question at this point is, where is Bird?
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9 comments:
That reminds me of a crazy ass dream I had involving you guys. We were at WIU, living in the house on Murray. We all went out drinking (big surprise). I can't remember where we went, but I do remember Lou went missing. Anyway, the rest of us make it back home at about 2 AM, and I was hammered. I slither down to my room in the basement, flop on the bed, and I'm out of it in no time.
What seems like moments later, I'm woken up by Kenny or Queebs (can't remember) at about 6 AM. It takes me a few moments to get my shit together enough so I can figure out that I'm being told that Lou is in jail. We gather ourselves and head into town. Of course we don't have that kind of cash on us, so we have to hit the ATMs. We have to go to each persons' bank to pull out what little $$$ we each have. Between us all, we scrape up enough.
We get to the jail and discover that they have taken Lou's shoelaces from him because they fear he may hang himself! We also discover that Lou is wearing two different tennis shoes. I'm still drunk, which made it even harder not to lose it right there in the station...I'm scared I'll get busted for public intoxication!
Now here's where the dream gets weird. We get Lou out. We find out that he told the cops that he was partying with some guys in the Chinese CIA or something like that. He's not sure what happened, but somehow they drugged him! When we talk to him about it...He sticks to the story. Crazy, huh? OK...How did he end up in custody? Ready for the craziest part? He is "pulled over" by one of Macomb's finest while doing like 80 MPH while stuck between a tree and a COUCH!!!
Even in my dream, I'm thinking this is too crazy for a dream! We gotta have some proof. We go to Lou's car. It's close to home, but it's in the a neighborhood that looks like a slice of Appalachia...very redneck chic. Sure as shit, there's Lou's car. It's firmly wedged between a tree and a couch in some dude's front yard!!! All I could do is imagine Lou sitting in the car, wasted out of his mind, foot firmly planted on the accelerator, tires spinning at 80 MPH, as the cop KNOCKS on his window to tell him to "pull over."
Is that the craziest dream, or what? Even so, it seems so real!
WFB -- Wow, crazy dream. I don't know where you come up with this stuff.
The Chinese CIA...HA, that's nuts!
OK, so now I am the one laughing so hard I am peeing my pants !!!! BTW Louis, you still owe me a ski vest from the night of your little adventure with the Chinese CIA...
As far as Lou's dream goes, I think I will need about 6 months and a couple of trained professionals to decipher that whole thing. The only thing that seems to stand out right from the start is Kenny J with the ice cream all over his face... seems to be some latent desires coming out there!!!
Sorry I have been out of the blog loop for a bit here, I went to India to visit a couple of companies that we work with and the internet connectivity over there was a bit dicey. Funny story from the trip, I am taking a flight from Bangalore India to Delhi. I am on a Jet Airways flight which is a domestic Indian airline. The planes are pretty much like you would see here in the states except they don't have movies / music that you can listen to when you are flying. They pipe in music through the PA system while you are on the plane. So what song is playing on the PA system when I walk in a sit down??? REO Speedwagon "I Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore"!!! Just goes to show you, classic 80's rock is universal!!!
I probably tell that story at least once a year! Someone will talk about being pulled over under a wierd circumstance, and I have to blow their goofy, shit story out of the water with the Lou story.
"I know a guy who was pulled over while doing 80 MPH while stuck between a tree and a couch"...they're hooked for some story tellin'!
It easily beats out some of my other favorite stories: "The Infamous Mad Dog Challenge"; "The Tapped Kegger in the Trunk of Keith's Car for the Trip to Galesburg Where I Ended Up Dancing to the Entire Album, Pink Floyd's The Wall, with a Girl Who's Titties Were Taller Than Her and She Was Really Fucking Short"; and "The Floating Beer Flakes from the Floor of the Murray Street Basement".
OK, strange as it sounds I remember the Mad Dog night but I am drawing a complete blank on the keg in the back of my car going to Galesburg??? I remember driving to Galesburg one night to see Stoney Al and singing Hey Jude at the top of our lungs for about 45 minutes... was that the same night??
Just to clarify:
1. It was the Chinese FBI, not CIA;
2. It was normal for me to wear two different shoes (one high top, one low top). That was not a one time thing; and
3. It is common practice for "the man" to take away the shoe laces of prisoners (even wrongly accused prisoners). I was not suicidal, although I perhaps should have been.
Everything else is accurate as reported. Carry on...
I, too, was peeing my pants. I don't remember any of those other stories, except the pledge and the beer flakes, although I remember tile flakes, more than beer flakes. Lou, that was one weird dream-what doew it mean, do you think? So, I now have an internet radio station. Paste this URL into Quicktime or ITunes. http://66.32.22.51:8000/listen.m3u I won't have it online 24/7, but I will try to have different radio shows. Maybe I'll email you when I am broadcasting.
I was a little unsure if the tapped keg in the trunk was that
Galesburg trip or not. I also remember screaming Hey Jude on a trip..I think it was on the way back. That would have to have been a different visit. The keg visit resulted in an overnighter. Maybe I wasn't with you guys. I remember waking up the next morning and discovering that a cat had shit on my pants...ring any bells for anyone?
Were any of you guys with me at the TKE frat party the night the girl stood right in front of the speaker jamming to the Stones? When they switched albums, she about lost her mind...started screaming for more Stones because she loved the Stones. For some reason, I think back on that from time to time. Wierd how that kinda shit sticks with you.
If I was a cop, and some whack job was talking about the Chinese FBI, I would definitely take his laces from him.
Kenny...what's the scoop on the radio station? When and what's playing?
Yeah, I'm kinda bumming out about the the radio station, right now. I don't think that I get assigned the same URL everytime to broadcast on. Now, obviously, this will reduce my listenership, if the listeners can't find me. Let me check on this further and I'll get back to you.
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