Happy Birthday, Kenny J

In case you didn't know it (and how could you not know it? It's all over the news, in the papers, on the radio, etc), today is Kenny J's 47th birthday.

Originally born Kenneth Wayne Jordan in the white ghetto of Aurora, IL, he became Kenny J after his first successful solo soprano sax album (the kids call them "CDs"). To this day, Kenny J has sold more instrumental albums than anyone in history (and I heard he dated Whitney Houston for a time too).

Of course, for many years now, the Norweigns have been celebrating Ken's birthday as well. They call it "Syttende Mai" and it corresponds with their day of independence (much like our 4th of July). As best I can tell, Ken was viewed as a savior to the Norweign people and it was under his leadership that Norwegia unshackled themselves from the surly bonds of captivity at the hands of Chile and their totalitarian leader, General Pinochet. I think it was in the 1970's that this happened (I believe it corresponded with the popularity of disco)and the birth of the "Norweign Messiah" (Ken's nickname) has been celebrated ever since.

Other notable moments in the life of Kenny J include:

* Set the land speed record for a fully stock lawn tractor;
* Sang "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" at the funeral of Robert "Bobby" Kennedy;
* Once shot a man just to watch him die;
* Won an Academy Award, but refused to accept it as long as baby seals continue to be slaughtered;
* Placed second in the 1988 World Spelling Bee in Zimbabwe;
* Played the part of Eliza Doolittle in an off Broadway revival of My Fair Lady;
* Accepted a urine sample from Major Harris. Major Harris has not been heard from since; and
* Testified before Congress concerning the effect bovine flatulence plays in global warming.

Please join me in wishing Kenny J a happy and memorable 47th birthday.

Let's sing:

Happy Birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy Birthday, dear Kenny
Happy birthday to you

Now just the girls...